Let me be candid with you. One of my biggest struggles is my temper. Sometimes it just gets the best of me.

And that can be a big problem as a dad.

I look at my oldest son. Guess what? He has a temper problem. And I know where he gets it.

As dads, we have to be very careful about what we say and do around our kids. We have to lead by example.

It’s a simple concept, and easy to see in our daily lives. Don’t want our kids to smoke? Then you’d better toss the cigarettes. Do you expect your kids to avoid alcohol? Then you’d better as well.

Do you want your son to treat his wife with exceptional love and tenderness someday? He will if he sees it modeled in your marriage. And he’ll handle family and relational conflict just as he sees you doing so. If you ignore it and leave it to your wife, he will too. If you lose your cool and get angry, he will too.

My dad was always the kind of dad who let my mom handle the disciplinary issues. He only got involved if it was very bad. Which was rare. I see in my self that same tendency. It feels natural for me to avoid the issue and allow my wife to deal with them all, because that’s how I learned it.

But if I want my kids to be active partners as parents, I have to be active in every aspect of parenting, alongside my wife.

The old saying, “Do as I say, not as I do” isn’t acceptable for a good dad. A good dad will set the example, from the big issues of how to live a godly life and handle relational issues, to even the smallest issues.

The other day, my five year old son woke and dressed himself. I had already left the house and headed to the church office for the day. When he came downstairs, he had a button down shirt on, and a tie. he had combed his hair nicely, and packed a messenger bag full of pads of paper, pens, his toy laptop, a coffee cup, and a few other things he needed. He told his mother that he was ready to come to the church to “work” with me.

He had watched me closely enough to know what I did each day, and was ready to emulate me as best as he could. Except for the tie. I never wear a tie.

That night he asked me why I don’t wear the ties I have hanging in my room. When I told him I usually wore them only when I wear a suit, he thought about it for a minute and then replied, “Then I won’t wear one very often either.”

He’s watching me closely. All the time. All of my kids are.

And so are yours.

Lead by example, dads, because they see every little thing we do.

And… Be deliberate, Dad!

What have you noticed your kids copying from your own life? You can leave your thoughts in the comments section below.