A few days ago, I had to have a tough conversation with one of my boys. It was a simple matter of disrespect and a lack of courtesy displayed towards others, in this case, towards his mother.

We had to have a difficult discussion, and there were some disciplinary actions taken. I felt like it was a good conversation, positive and encouraging. But at the end of it, my son asked, “Dad? Do you forgive me?”

That twisted my heart up and almost caused me to start crying. Of course I forgave him. But apparently I neglected to tell him that I forgave him. I remedied that very quickly.

Dads, our kids need to know that we forgive them when they mess up. Guess what? They are kids. They will mess up. Sometimes intentionally. Sometimes accidentally. But they will make mistakes and need our forgiveness.

When they require our forgiveness, there are a few things we need to do in the process.

Be quick to forgive your kids

Never, ever, ever withhold your forgiveness with your kids. Especially to “teach them a lesson.” The only lesson they will learn is to withhold forgiveness from others in their own life, and they will assume that you either love them less for their actions, or don’t love them at all. Not forgiving quickly is dangerous ground in the spiritual and emotional well-being of your child. Forgive. And do it right away.

Show them your forgiveness

A hug, a pat on the back, or a trip to the ice cream shop can go a long way to displaying that you’ve put the issue behind you and forgiven your son or daughter for their misbehavior. Your kids needs to see that you forgive them, sometimes more than they need to hear it. Make sure that they don’t misconstrue your display of forgiveness as a “treat.” That might lead them to assume that wrong actions will always result in positive results, which is simply not true.

Tell them you forgive them

As important as it is to show your kids you forgive them, you need to tell them as well. The simple act of saying those three little words, “I forgive you,” will go a long way to building the restoration you child needs to see in his relationship with you. Leave nothing to doubt; make sure you kids know that you forgive them as positively as possible.

While I’m sure that there are many more aspects of forgiveness that need to be displayed and taught to our children, these three provide a solid foundation for you to build some healthy habits upon.

And, it’s never too soon to start building that foundation in your relationship with your kids. As they see it unfold in their relationship with you, they will start to recognize it in your relationship with your spouse, and with others around you as well.

So go ahead, dads, grow in the area of forgiveness with your kids and wife. If will be worth the effort!

Be deliberate, Dad!

What do you do to make sure your kids know you forgive them? You can leave your thoughts in the comments section below.