One of the most difficult things I have to do as a dad is discipline my kids.

This is almost unbearably painful to me. All to often, my desire is to let my wife deal with it completely, and avoid the situation.

But that’s simply not an option. I simply can’t be that dad that isn’t involved in every area of parenting with my wife. As much as I’d like to skip the discipline part of it all, this is a role that falls on me most of the time.

A great dad loves his kids. A great dad allows his kids to try things and express themselves. But a great dad doesn’t allow his kids to get away with murder.

I think that there are at least four main characteristics to keep in mind when it come to disciplining your kids.

Communication

When your kids misbehave, and you have to discipline them, communication is key. If they don’t know why they are being punished, the likelihood that you’ve solved the problem is slim. You need to communicate with your kids, explaining to them why you are displeased. And through it all, you need to communicate that you still love them. This is critical for them to understand.

Consistency

A second key to effective discipline is consistency. If a certain behavior is unacceptable today, then it must be unacceptable tomorrow as well. I see parents miss this all the time. Today, their child does something and ti sets them off. But when they perform the same behavior next week, all of a sudden it has become ok? As a dad, your discipline cannot be dependent upon your mood. Be consistent.

Cooperation

If possible, enlist the aid of your child in determining the punishment. If my daughter talks back to her mother, we ask her what she thinks is an appropriate punishment. Sometimes, her ideas are too mild; other times, she’s too hard on herself. Make sure the punishment fits the crime. But when you enlist their input in deciding their consequences, they better understand why their actions were wrong. Of course, this isn’t going to work in every circumstance, but use it when you can.

Compatibility

Not every child responds to discipline in the same way. Again, make the punishment fit the crime. When my daughter lied to us, part of her punishment was to take a bite of a hot pepper. The unpleasant taste and heat reminded her that lying was not an acceptable use of her mouth. However, when we tried that with one of my sons, we discovered that he really likes spicy food. He enjoyed it too much, and we had to find an alternative that would make a point with him.

Discipline is tough. And it requires tough love to prove your point. But tough love never ends with abuse. There is no excuse for abusive behavior as a parent. There is a line between discipline and abuse. Make sure you stay on the right side of it, whether you use corporal punishment or not.

If handled properly, discipline can be rewarding for both you and your kids. Make sure you are under control of yourself before you ever discipline your kids. Take time to cool off if you’re angry, and make sure you are able to say and do things that you can return to. You don’t want to have words spoken or actions taken out of anger become destructive to your relationship with your kids.

So, even though it’s not the most fun part of being a dad, discipline is a necessary factor if you want to be a great dad.

Be deliberate, Dad!

Do you have any helpful input when it comes to disciplining your kids? You can leave your thoughts in the comments section below.