My dad and I didn’t always have the best of relationships. We butted heads more often than I can remember, and on almost every topic imaginable. He had a hard time communicating his love and care for his family, and as his oldest child, I think I felt that more than the rest.

That’s not to say he didn’t love us, or wasn’t proud of us. He was. I know that. He just didn’t know how to communicate it very well. And, as a result, he didn’t encourage me in the things I wanted to pursue. In fact, often, he was more of a discourager than an encourager.

When I was about to graduate from high school, he and I had one of our biggest disagreements. I had decided a long time before that I was going to attend Bible college and go onto the ministry. He let that remain unchallenged until graduation time. At that time, he told me that he wanted me to pursue a career that was more “financially stable,” and that he wouldn’t permit me to go to Bible college. As a young, bull-headed kid, I argued with him about it and it didn’t end well. It ended with an ultimatum: If I went to Bible college, then I couldn’t come home.

Eventually, he reversed that attitude about my choice of college and career. But I can tell you, that first year at college was a pretty tough year. I needed my dad’s encouragement, and he didn’t give it.

As a result, I have decided to be the exact opposite with my own kids. I want to set them free to pursue God’s call on their own lives, and allow them to pursue that call however they feel led to do so.

It scares me that one or more of my kids may follow that call around the world, far away into a foreign mission field. But if that is where God is leading, who am I to stand in the way? I know where that road leads already.

One of my daughters is facing the choice of where to go to college right now. She has a couple of great options, but doesn’t know which to pursue. Both of them are fairly close, which excites me. Another of my daughters has already decided where she is going to college, even though that time is still a few years off. It’s not so close, but I am encouraging her to pursue where God leads, regardless.

The point of all of this is to let you know that our kids really need us to be their biggest cheerleaders. They need us, as their dads, to encourage them to follow the Lord’s call on their life, no matter where it may lead. They need to know that we will continue to love and support them, regardless of whether that choice is what we would have preferred for them.

That’s not to say that we don’t continue to guide them and help them navigate through life. But they need to know that we are in their corner completely and fully. They will have to make enough choices on their own, so the ones that we can encourage and cheer on are incredible opportunities.

Don’t disable you kids; enable them to make the good and wise choices that lead them in the direction God is calling them. Be their biggest cheerleader. Be right there with them in their corner!

Be deliberate, Dad!

What decisions have your kids faced where they needed you to be in their corner? You can leave your thoughts in the comments section below.