Have you ever had one of those days where everything was crazy?

Yesterday was a day like that for my family. My older daughters were being whiny about everything. My oldest son was using that to his advantage and pestering them, which only made things worse. My four year old son was sick, which resulted in a much more needy disposition. The baby was normal, crying, needing to be fed, needing a diaper change, needing a nap. And my two year old was, well, being a two year old.

My wife was close to the end of her nearly limitless patience. And I was way beyond mine. Several times, I had to walk out of the room before I blew up at one or another of the kids.

As I was sitting in my bedroom wondering why the kids were acting that way, I realized something very important. The “why” wasn’t the crucial question that I needed to ponder. Instead, I needed to identify and implement my response. I needed to display patience.

I still haven’t figured out why they were acting the way they were.

But from that point on in the day, I made a valiant effort to show patience with each one of them, and with my wife as well.

And guess what? It paid off. Did it change their attitudes? Not one bit. But did it change mine? You bet it did!

Here are four reasons why patience is important, especially as a parent.

Kids will be kids

My kids were not doing much of anything terribly wrong. Could they have improved their attitudes? Sure. My daughters needed to stop their whining and feeling so entitled. My son should have stopped picking on them. But I had to remember that these kids were acting like… kids. That’s what they do. And my anger or frustration was not going to help them learn how to behave properly.

My attitude needed adjustment just as much as theirs

Perhaps my kids were picking up on my stress. Maybe they sensed our tiredness. Whatever the cause, the first step to resolving the situation was to check my attitude. Only then would I be effective in speaking towards theirs.

If you’re not under control, then you can’t be in charge

Losing your cool will not help any situation like I was facing yesterday. Blowing up at my kids would have in no way helped at all. The only way my kids would be able to respond to me as a parent was if I was able to keep myself in check. Losing my cool would have effectively given control of the situation to my kids.

Relation battles in the home have no winners

It’s true. Fighting the fights I was facing yesterday would have resulted in pain and suffering for all of us, my kids, my wife and myself. Staying in control, keeping my cool, having patience… this is the only way any of us are going to emerge from this unscathed.

In the end, bedtime rolled around. Each of my kids was told how much I loved them. And each of them went to bed uninjured because I refrained from losing my patience.

I don’t know if I’d call yesterday a dadhood win. I was pretty frustrated. All of us were pretty stressed. But it wasn’t a loss either. I learned a valuable lesson about patience. And my kids saw me strive to keep my cool.

I guess that’s enough. Now, let’s see if I can do it again today…

Be deliberate, Dad!

What do you do to help you keep your patience with your kids? You can leave your thoughts in the comments section below.