One of the most important responsibilities that we have as men is to love our wives well. This is true for all if us that are married, regardless of how your marriage may be going. And it is true for those men who one day want to be married.

Paul states in Ephesians 5:25:

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her…

This is no small task!

Our duty as husbands, in fact, our honor as husbands, is to love our wives well. This is so important that Paul states it three times (verse 25, verse 28, and verse 33). And he is very clear about what that should look like.

Paul uses the Greek word agape. This is a term that means to care for the needs of someone, to love then, even when they are undeserving, or hard to love. It’s an unconditional love. It’s a love no matter what. It is a love that is motivated purely for the other person’s best interests, and not for my own.

Paul’s statement here is extraordinary. How are we to love our wives? Just as Christ loved the church. Jesus loved his bride, the church, so much that he willingly sacrificed his life in order to redeem her. In the same way, our love for our brides must be self-sacrificing. We must put the needs of our wives ahead of our own. Our goal should be her happiness, her satisfaction, and her spiritual health.

Okay. That’s a tall order. But I get it. I am called to love my wife like Jesus loves his own bride. But how? What does that look like? Let me suggest five ways that we can love our wives like this.

Love by example

Men, set the example in your homes. Allow your family to see you being loving. Allow your wife to see you reading your Bible. Allow your wife to watch you model what it means to be godly. When you do these things, and she sees them, it will help her stay strong in following your example.

Love by praying together

One of the things my wife craves the most is to pray with me. And I have not always loved her well in this way. Praying with your wife is the most intimate thing that you can do, and it feeds both your souls and your marriage. The added benefit is that your kids will notice, and they will sense the security that comes from such a strong marriage foundation.

Love by serving

Serve your wife! Too often, we want our wives to serve us. But Christ set the example by serving, and not being served. We should do the same, and serve our wives. That could be in the form of taking care of household chores, such as doing dishes or laundry. It might be that you take the kids for a while and give her some down time, or send her out with a couple of adult friends. Serve her.

Love by encouraging

Let your words to your wife always be encouraging. Don’t be critical. Don’t belittle. Speak with love and compassion, and encourage her at all times. She longs to hear your praise her. Be lavish in your encouragement to her.

Love by leading

Lead your family. Set the tone for family meetings and devotions. Make the initial move to pray together, with her and with the kids. Lead your family. That’s your role as the spiritual head, not hers. But too many men are apathetic, and let that responsibility fall on her shoulders. Lead!

There are many other ways that you can love your wife as Christ loved the church. These are just a few suggestions. Examine your own family. Understand the dynamics and personalities of your wife and kids. And love her accordingly. It’s a heavy responsibility, but we can do this!

Be deliberate, men!

What are some practical ways that you have loved your wife like Christ loved the church? What are some creative ways you have shown her this love? You can leave your thoughts in the comments section below.