As a kid, I don’t think my dad ever taught me to persevere. I don’t mean that as a criticism; it’s just something that he never really demonstrated to me. In fact, the opposite might be true. I learned that if things get tough, it’s alright to give up, to quit.

For example, I can remember my dad trying to teach me how to drive a stick. He had an old 1964 Chevy pickup that he’d rebuilt, painted and loved. It had a three speed transmission with the gear shirt on the steering column, a three-on-the-tree. As I was leaning to drive, Dad thought that I needed to learn to drive a standard.

He tried to teach me several different times. Each time would end up the same way, several lurching stops with the engine dead, my frustration rising because I couldn’t do it, his anger peaking because I obviously wasn’t listening to his instructions, and me getting out of the truck, walking down the street to the house, leaving him to drive the truck back.

Before long, he gave up trying to teach me how to drive a stick-shift. I eventually learned from a friend in college.

But that example causes me to think. My dad, even though I’m sure this wasn’t his intention, taught me that if it was too hard, then it was okay to quit.

I’m not certain that was a lesson that I needed to learn.

And I’m pretty sure my kids don’t need to learn to quit either.

Rather, I have to instill in my children the ability to carry on, even when things get hard or difficult.

This can happen in several different circumstances or situations. It may show up as I teach my kids to do things, like drive a car. I may need to instill this trait in my kids when they want to settle for a passing grade instead of an excellent grade. It may be necessary to teach them this quality as they perform their chores around the house.

It could even become necessary in their faith. As our world throws so much junk at our kids, through the media, culture, music, movies, TV, friends, social media, and a dozen other outlets, our kids need to know how to stay strong and endure.

But how do we do this? How can we teach our kids this?

First, start small. Start with small projects, and start when your kids are small. If you are beyond that point, start anyway, just start. Allow your daughter to choose a book to read, and set a reward for competing it. My oldest daughter loves to read. This doesn’t work to well with her. But my oldest son does not. Rewarding him with an ice cream cone with me after he finishes the book, and we discuss the book, helps go a long way to strengthening his perseverance muscles.

Next, be the example. You and I are faced with tough situations in our own lives. How do we handle these? Our kids are watching and learning. Show them how you deal with the need to stick to it until it’s done.

Reward success. As I mentioned earlier, this could be a treat, but it could just as easily be a compliment or a pat on the back with a “good job.” Your kids can tell when you are pleased with their efforts. You don’t want to use material rewards too often though, as this can create an unrealistic expectation in their minds down the road. But still, be encouraging when you see them persevere.

Finally, be real with your kids about your faith. Share some of your struggles, showing them how you need perseverance in your own life, too. They can be encouraged, knowing that perfection isn’t expected, and they can pray and encourage you as well.

It really doesn’t matter how old your kids are in this. If they are older, you may have a tougher time, as you try to help them unlearn certain behaviors. But stick to it dads! This life skill will greatly benefit your kids for a very long time!

Be deliberate, Dad!

How are you when it comes to perseverance? How are you teaching your kids this trait? You can leave your thoughts in the comments by clicking here.